Simon's Bookcase

Reviews from Lord Taylor of Glencoe

Lunatic & Elyon

Lunatic/Elyon: Ted Dekker & Kaci Hill, July 27, 2016

My rating: ♦◊◊◊◊

Deep breath. I’ve run Lunatic and Elyon together into one feature-length day of misery because they are frankly awful and they need finished. If it weren’t for the fact they complete a decade-long reading journey of The Books of Histories, I would probably save myself the pain.

Even with the help of Kaci Hill in writing these last two volumes, Dekker still pulls out all the faithful tropes that have made this “young adult” interpretation so reliably dreadful. Six novels in, there’s less characterisation than you could swing a Horde at, and frankly if you haven’t given up caring what happens to the Lost Books, you deserve a medal. It’s just one infuriating contrivance after another.

Speaking of the Horde (who you kind of what to just kill everyone by now), they get completely recast in Lunatic for no reason at all. It seems like an afterthought. Perhaps Hill said to Dekker it would be interesting to add a political dynamic. Maybe she wrote this totally isolated bit of it and it got stuffed in just before it went to print. But the Horde infighting has all the dynamo of a flat sausage. With gristle. And no crusty roll.

Despite the apparently terrifying, gut-wrenching, exhilarating journey of a lifetime, absolutely none of the lead characters have changed in any discernible way. Take out the Dekker-patented melodramatic rhetoric (“her heart ached with the pain of a thousand cathear insertions after she spilled her precious, sweet, life-giving tea”… “they all wept together in love and unity when they agreed who to vote for in Forest Guard’s Got Talent, bound forever by a soul that was one”) and it’s essentially inane twaddle. The grand finale is as grand as an old Casio keyboard pretending to be a grand piano. The way Elyon ends almost makes me want to tear every page out and set each on fire individually because it’s the biggest birdie that a writer has flicked to his readers in recorded history. A five-word review could be boiled down to this: WHAT WAS THE F***ING POINT?

The four-part Circle saga was fantastic. I hope one day Dekker can find it in himself to forgive himself for what he’s done to it.

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This entry was posted on July 27, 2016 by in 1 star, Books Of History Chronicles, Lost Books and tagged , .

Author Cloud

@Queen_UK Adolf Hitler agatha christie Alan Clements Alastair Campbell Aldous Huxley Aleksandr Orlov Alex Shaffer Andrew Neiderman Anthony Burgess Arthur Miller Bateman Ben Brooks Ben Elton Bram Stoker Bret Easton Ellis C.J. Cherryh Carolyn Jess-Cooke Charles Dickens Chuck Palahniuk Dan Brown Dante Alighieri dashiell hammett david baldacci David Brin David Glattauer David Kirkpatrick David Line David Tennant David Wolstencroft Dylan Jones E.L. James Edgar Allen Poe Emilia Fox Eoin Colfer Erica Spindler Frank Peretti Gabrielle Lord Gareth Roberts Geoff Ryman George Orwell George R. R. Martin George W. Bush Gillian Flynn Gillian Slovo Graham Greene Guy Piran Harper Lee Harriet Lane Herman Koch Ian Rankin J.K. Rowling Jack Thorne Jacqueline Rayner James Herbert James Patterson Jasper Fforde Jeff Green Jeff Kinney Jeffrey Archer Jem Lester Jenny Robson Jeremy Clarkson Jerry B. Jenkins Jim Thompson John Crowther John Green John Grisham John Tiffany John Verdon Jonas Jonasson Judith Kerr Juliana Foster Justin Richards Kaci Hill Karen Levine Keeley Bolger Louis Walsh malorie blackman Marissa Meyer Mark Haddon Mark Z. Danielewski Martin Sixsmith Mary Higgins Clark Mary McNamara Matt Haig Matthew Ravden Michael Berry Michael Connelly Michael Morpurgo Michael Quirke Miguel de Cervantes Mike Lancaster Morris Gleitzman Morton Rhue Neil Sinclair Nick Hornby Nick Page Patricia Cornwell Patricia Stotley Patrick Ness Paula Hawkins Paul Johnston Peter James Phil Allcock R.J. Palacio Rachelle Dekker Raymond Chandler Richard Bachman Robert Louis Stevenson Robert Ludlum Robin Cook Robin Kirkpatrick sandra brown Sebastian Beaumont Sharon Osbourne Stella Rimmington Stephen Cole Stephen King Steve Lookner Steve Lyons Stuart MacBride Sue Townsend Suzanne Collins ted dekker Terry Pratchett Tim LaHaye Tim Randall Todd Strasser Tom Avery Tom Bower Tom Cain Tom Hoyle tony blair William Golding William P. Young William Shakespeare